Standing next to your bestie on their wedding day may be a great shared experience that can draw you and the bride closer. As a bridesmaid, it is your obligation not just to step out of the spotlight for the day but to focus all of your attention on the bride. After all, it is their special day! Hopefully, as close friends, you and the bride will agree.
The same is true for you, gentlemen! It's an honor to be invited to stand next to the groom on the wedding day. While your obligations appear more in the "fun" column than the "admin" column, don't kick your shoes off just yet. There are still chores to be done!
The bridesmaid must be there for the bride to depend on when the stress of wedding planning gets too much - one day, perhaps she'll return the favor and act as a bridesmaid-cum-support system for you! Some of the bridesmaids' duties may include:
Occasionally, the bride may ask you to wear an article of particular clothing, which the bride will pay for. In contrast, other times, brides will allow their bridesmaids to wear a dress they already own as long as it is a specified color and length. If the bride isn't paying for the dress, you have the right to take her aside and (politely!) inform her of your budget. However, suppose you cannot purchase a bridesmaid dress. In that case, you must notify the bride before accepting her offer to be a part of the bridal party.
It is NOT the bride's job to pay for your bridesmaid dress; if she offers, accept it as a gift; nonetheless, it is your responsibility to ensure that you can afford the dress while making ends meet!
Assist the bride in making selections regarding the bridesmaid outfits. If you've ever attended an improv class, you'll know that the same principles apply: never say no!
Instead of blasting the bride with "won't" (e.g., I won't wear spaghetti straps or pink), try focusing on positives and compromise.
You don't have to accompany the bride to all 20 local bridal stores, attend to the bride's initial appointment, a fitting, or assist her in choosing between two gowns that come with the territory - don't complain.
Helping the bride with any DIY components of the wedding may include attending craft night, saving empty wine bottles in the months preceding the wedding, or becoming very close friends with the management of a local PNA right away! Nothing like a decent employee discount when it comes to DIY aspects!
Help the bride's family plan the Kitchen Tea and Bachelorette parties - Do all this with a song in your heart and a smile on your face because that's what best friends do! This is the time to show how much you adore the bride and the wedding! Brainstorm, pitch ideas, create a budget, set up and decorate the venue, and break down and clean up after the celebration.
Although it is not customary, the mother of the bride or groom may give money toward the expense of the bachelorette or kitchen tea, and it would not be good etiquette to solicit financial contributions from anyone other than your fellow bridesmaids and the Maid of Honor.
Your wedding day obligations as a bridesmaid are few; you simply need to stand there and look nice and make sure the bride looks even prettier! However, there are a couple of things you should make sure to do:
The brides are within their rights to insist that you have a full face of makeup and an updo for the wedding, but you have every right to suggest that you save money by taking the DIY route.
Assist in ensuring that the flower girl and ring bearer go down the aisle in a timely and organized manner. Young children sometimes suffer stage fright; offer to escort them down the aisle personally or simply make a funny face and wipe away tears so the little ones can get down the aisle on time!
The bride's beauty and confidence are now in your hands, as you have been promoted to the glamor squad and are responsible for transporting the bride's bouquet, train, or lipstick between picture shoots. Maintaining the physical and mental health of the bride should be your first focus.
Be enthusiastic! It's time to take on the dance floor and show off your moves! It is your responsibility to light the spark and call out everyone to dance, especially if the celebration starts late.
You will have some job to accomplish in the months, weeks, and days leading up to the groom's big day, similar to your female counterparts, the bridesmaids. The responsibilities will include the following:
The groomsmen are required to assist the groom in selecting his outfit. Usually, the bride will have given this specific outing guidance (e.g., wear a black or blue suit), but occasionally the groom may have free reign. The groomsmen must keep the groom from going too extreme on his wedding day.
Groomsmen protocol requires them to pay for their outfits. Even though it won't cost as much as the bridesmaids' dresses, you can get away with renting one item or wearing something you already possess.
Make sure your suit is made to match your physique, not the body you wish you had! The same goes for the groom; ensure the groom gets a case that fits him, not a future version of himself that he may or may not sculpt before the wedding.
Together with the Best Man, plan the Bachelor party. As a groomsman, you must assist in brainstorming, budgeting, and arranging a fabulous bachelor party.
All the groomsmen will most likely divide the expenditures, and you want to know that your budget was considered when planning, so make sure you're engaged from the start. While some bachelor parties revolve around bawdy late-night revelry, many more modern men are preceding the traditional "last night of freedom" ritual in favor of something more low-key and laid-back with their partners before tying the knot.
While it is your obligation as a groomsman to support the groom(s) and be present for them to celebrate his transition from bachelorhood, gone are the days when marriage was seen to be the end of one's independence - you don't have to compromise on your principles, and neither does the groom. Respect his desires if he says "no strippers," and if he wants strippers and you're not into that lifestyle, it's entirely OK for reject to go. Offer to take the hungover group out for breakfast the following day or join them for one drink before they go to the strip club.
If the groom requires assistance with administration or ideas for the honeymoon, the groomsmen are his go-to guys. If you are married and have done this previously, your knowledge and experience might be helpful to the groom!
The groomsmen's responsibilities on the wedding day are minor. Make sure you are appropriately attired, groomed, and on time. And, for God's sake, make sure the groom is all of the above!
You may be requested to accompany a bridesmaid down the aisle, or you may be asked to stand at the front of the venue with the groom from the start. Keep tissues on hand, especially if you know the bride or groom is a 'cryer'! They'll appreciate it afterward!
Let the good times roll! Pay special attention to the solitary girls who appear to want to dance but cannot locate a companion! It is your job to ensure everyone is having a good time on the dance floor!
Ultimately, the groomsmen and bridesmaids' responsibility is to be there for their buddy, who has chosen to honor the friendship by allowing you to be a part of their special day.
You can't go wrong as a groomsman or bridesmaid for your friend if you're a good listener and a helper. If you don't know what you may be doing to assist the bride or groom prepare for the big day, we have your backs! With this BridalFusion.com advice, we guarantee that your help and goodwill will not be forgotten in the many joyful years of your friends' marriage!