As trendy as it looks, it can be difficult to ask flower girls and ring bearers directly!
Bridesmaids and groomsmen’s proposals are the latest trends in the wedding planning process. Asking the closest ones to you to stand by your side on your wedding day is perhaps an intimate moment for everyone involved. But they are not the only ones in your bridal party who will deserve this “sacred space” in your bridal party. There are also the little ones, the Flower Girl and the Ring Bearer. It is essential that you consider how you would want to ask them too. Even the youngest members of your bridal party deserve that love and attention just like others.
Here are some wedding planner tips on how to ask Flower Girl and Ring Bearer to be at your wedding!
Having a ring bearer and flower girl in your bridal party is not just about filling a random role and appeasing some of your relatives. The smallest members usually have the biggest impact overall. It is a sight that most of us relate to. These small wonders offer a binding, wholesome and fulfilling experience. It gives other guests in your wedding a comparison of you, from then until today.
The innocence that these little ones bring into the wedding is something that is as pure as your love for your significant other.
Young children stepping into the shoes to become flower girls and ring bearers also bring in some lightheartedness to your wedding day. They add to the overall whimsy. Most brides are nervous to just walk down the aisle. Little darlings, spreading out flower petals before the bride is a great way to diffuse the nervousness and deflect some attention away from the brides.
Another significant reason flower girls and ring bearers are chosen to be a part of the wedding is because they are the apple of everyone’s eyes, and the couple just wants them to be a part of the wedding on their special day. It is a lasting gift to those little munchkins as well as to their parents.
When should you ask your Flower Girl and Ring Bearer?
Brides and grooms should first ask the parents of the potential flower girl as well as the ring bearer if they can be a part of your wedding along with the rest of the bridal party. You should also talk to your bridal party and tell them your desire of having certain children as your flower girls and ring bearers. Just give them all a notice in advance. You cannot just assume that they will scream joyously and simply accept the honor!
Wedding planner expert tips suggest talking to them first helps both you and the parents. It helps make necessary travel arrangements or adjust other schedules on both parties’ ends. So, the earlier you ask, the better!
However, top wedding planner experts suggest that couples should ideally put a gap of one or two months; the said gap should be between the day of proposal and the wedding day or whenever you are required to order the attire.
The youngest members of your bridal party do deserve some extra consideration! Here are a few things you should consider before asking a child to be your flower girl or your ring bearer. These tips come directly from wedding planner experts.
Ask the parents
The most significant aspect of asking the little ones to be a part of your wedding is first to clear it with the parents. There could be a reason you had not considered that would probably make their involvement a good idea. Maybe the desired child has deviations from a schedule, or they have special needs, or a big occasion such as this could cause some problems. Or maybe the parents would be looking forward to enjoying your wedding weekend without the kids!
Ensure you ask both the parents if they want their children to take on the honor before you ask the young ones.
Get to their level - Quite Literally
The way you ask the young ones to be a part of your bridal party is also extremely important, as what you are trying to say. Just get to their level when you ask them, both literally and figuratively. You will get a much better reaction from them when you ask them eye to eye. Just be Princess Diana to the kids, and they will love you!
Set some time to bond
This holds extremely true when there is a child involved who only knows either the bride or the groom! Make sure the child also shares the same bond with your significant other. Make sure your partner knows and bonds with the child before the wedding. Children will not just go along with strangers, so you will have to give them some time to adjust to the new addition in your life.
Chalk out your wedding plans
Couples should ideally chalk out their wedding plan before they pop the question to the desired flower girl and ring bearer.
Will the child’s parents be a part of your bridal party?
This might get a little tricky, so ensure you are clear with who you want as a part of your bridal party and who you do not! Have enough plans for logistics for your wedding day and the photos. This way, the adults will not just assume anything or feel left out.
Is your wedding child-free?
If you are planning to host a child-free wedding, you should discuss necessary child care for the flower girls and ring bearers post-ceremony. This is important for these young attendants when they will not be a part of your wedding reception later. If they are going to be a part of your wedding reception, prepare to be bombarded with questions from other parents whether their child can attend too?
Is there a specific attire in your mind?
If you have your heart set on your ring bearer wearing a fully-customized tux that matches what the groom is wearing, or you have already picked out a beautiful dress for your little flower girl, you should talk to the parents! Ideally, you should discuss your plans with the parents regarding budget and outfit ideas. This ensures that everyone is clear on who is going to pay for what and the attire choices or objections if any!
Once you have talked to the parents, asked about your ideas, and received their blessings, it is now time for the most exciting part! The proposal. When popping the questions to the children, wedding planner experts suggest, include a gift.
Children do not typically have complex mental abilities. So, if you are tying in the questions with tangible gifts or goodies, you are actually solidifying the specialness of the occasion for them.
Here are some good gift suggestions, straight from wedding planner experts:
Asking Younger Flower Girls
While asking younger flower girls, pop the question with flowers, shoes, tiaras, special jewelry; and you are bound to get a yes from them!
You can include some sentimental options like a bracelet or a special hair clip, which can be saved as “something old” for their wedding day in the future. You can also offer them a matching flower girl dress for their favorite doll, which she can save for her own daughter in the future. A handwritten note explaining to the little one her importance in your life is also a great idea.
Asking Older Flower Girls
For preteens and teens, an adult spa day works wonders! It is a consistent winner through many weddings. Nothing makes preteens and teens feel loved, included, and confident than doing adult activities that are, of course, age-appropriate.
Asking Younger Ring Bearers
For younger ring bearers, our wedding planner experts suggest giving them matching shoes or any part of the attire that other groomsmen or groom would be wearing. You could also go for a personalized baseball bat for them or a game/puzzle which matches their interest.
Asking Older Ring Bearers
Older ring bearers can be tricky to ask. It can come across as a challenge for some couples. So, to counter this challenge, wedding planner experts suggest giving them a two-part gift. Something that helps them create a mental connection with you. For instance, if your desired older ring bearer loves a particular sports star, take them to a game with you, and ask them there. Or give them an autographed ball of their favorite sporting personality, and then ask them. In both scenarios, you are creating a memory that will last a lifetime.
In addition to giving them something like a proposal gift, ensure you have a small token of gratitude planned for your wedding day too!
It is all about going a step further. Figure out your personal ideas, reflect on their interests, and act on them. These tips, gift ideas, and the idea behind having young children as your flower girls and ring bearers are meant to help you plan your wedding day.
Keep reading BridalFusion blogs for most such wedding planner expert tips!