Tips On How To Talk To Parents And In-Laws About Guest List

Author: Nidhi Published on : Aug 17,2022

bf Tips Parents And In-Laws About Guest List


It is not easy to create your wedding guest list. You'll need to balance inviting the people you love with keeping the list within your budget and consider whether you want a small ceremony or reception. In addition, you may need to consider the culture of your parents and in-laws. Have access to their phone book, or at least know where they live. It is scary to talk to your parents and in-laws about who they would like to see at the wedding and who they are willing to cancel. 

Reading this article will help you understand their thoughts on the guests at your wedding and how to make the final guest list itself. Here are some meaningful conversations you should have with your parents and in-laws about the guest list:


Have a preliminary chat

Make sure to let your parents and in-laws know that you're inviting their guests not just as guests but as honored guests. Let them know that you're happy they're coming to celebrate the two of you as a couple and that you'd love to have the chance to get to know them better. Let them know you're open to questions and discussions about how you met, your wedding plans, and what else they might be curious about. 

The last thing you want is your in-laws to feel like intruders at your wedding. It can be helpful to select a few people to talk to first, such as their closest friends or family members. Like this, you can get an idea of the personalities of the people they would like to see at the wedding while also getting some insight into their budget. 


Be sure of the numbers

It never hurts to double-check that you know the number of people joining your parents and in-laws at the wedding. This will help you determine a ballpark budget for the wedding by factoring in food, venue, and entertainment.


The dreaded budget talk

It is a sensitive part. You don't want to make them feel wrong about their budget, but you do want them to know how important it is to you to stick to the budget. If you want to raise the funding, try bringing it up as a team. You and your partner could say something like: "We're so excited to have everyone at the wedding. We would love to have everyone come, but we need to know your budget. We want to stick to a budget that works for everyone." This way, you aren't pressuring anyone; it's more like a team effort.


Your culture is critical to your parents and in-laws

Depending on your background, you may want to invite specific people of your parents' ethnicity to your wedding. You may also want to keep that part of your wedding to just your family. It's important to remember that you are marrying into a new family and that their culture is essential to them. You can always ask them if there is someone whom they would like to see at the wedding. If not, you could always ask them for suggestions of people you should invite to the wedding.


Ask them about their friends and family

If you're trying to understand who your parents and in-laws would like to see at the wedding, ask them about their closest friends and family. You can ask them questions such as, "Who would you like to see most at the wedding?" or "Who would you like to see walk you down the aisle?" This will help you understand which people they would like to see on their special day and their relation to those people. This can help you decide who to invite to the wedding.


Choose the venue wisely

The number of guests you can have at your wedding will depend greatly on the location you choose. Your guest list is ultimately the number of people who can fit inside your location, which is not a makeshift limit; it is calculated with your guests' safety and convenience in mind. In the same vein, if your parents are footing the bill for the nuptials, they should have some input on the location you choose, and everyone should be OK with the maximum guest count. 

Signing a contract with a venue means you've committed to inviting no more than the maximum number of guests, which means less space for parents and in-laws to break wedding guest list etiquette. You may always point fingers at the location if your guest list gets out of hand. To quote one daughter to another: "Mom, we can't invite your co-workers from your two jobs ago—they'll take us beyond the capacity of our venue."


Dealing with conflict

An argument about who should be invited to a wedding has no standard resolution. Some people, for instance, are more at ease than others in resolving conflicts head-on with their in-laws. If your relationship with your in-laws is really tight, then you should feel comfortable having frank discussions about any issues that may arise. If you and your spouse are not very close, you may want them to handle these kinds of discussions. It means that both you and your partner may choose to consult with your respective families before moving further.

On such an important day, you should feel at ease with all of your guests. As a result, it's crucial that you all come to the talks as one unit.

The most brilliant piece of advice is to make sure you and your spouse are on the same page. Determine how many people you must send the invite to, how many will be invited by your parents or in-laws, and any other restrictions, such as only inviting individuals you and your fiance have met in person. If everyone presents a unified front, it will be much simpler to hold these discussions and establish the ground rules at the outset.

You should also consider that your parents and in-laws, who are no doubt proud of you and looking forward to the wedding, may have strong feelings about who should be in attendance. It's a great sign of appreciation that they want their loved ones present.

Finally, keep your viewpoint in mind. A bond like yours is permanent because it is familial. Keep in mind that your bond with your in-laws will continue to grow and develop long after the wedding day and that your future happiness depends on maintaining a healthy and respectful relationship with them.


Don't Panic when things go wrong

If your parents are attempting to invite undesired visitors to your big day, your budget and location can support these additions. Make sure to include them. Even if they're good folks you don't know very well, keep in mind that they'll be a little part of a large extended family. In a positive light, consider yourself fortunate that so many people care enough to make an effort to attend your celebration. To put it simply, try to be thankful in the worst of situations and let nothing keep you from having a gala time at your wedding.



It is a challenging task to create the wedding guest list. You'll need to balance inviting the people you love with keeping the list within your budget. In addition, you may need to consider the culture of your parents and in-laws. Remember that even though things may get difficult, it is impossible to keep everyone happy. However, with these tips and tacts from, you can certainly make it happen!

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