Coping with Abandonment in Marriage: A Survival Guide

Married couples are supposed to be 'till death do us part,' but what does one do when one silently detaches themselves from you emotionally or physically, leaving the other hurt and betrayed? Being abandoned within marriage can be crippling and might damage one's mental, emotional, and even financial health. It can be emotional, in which case your partner is present physically but has abandoned you emotionally, or it can be physical, in the case where your spouse has left.  In this article, we will examine types of abandonment, what to do after a spouse leaves, its consequences, and ways you may reconstruct your life.

Understanding Abandonment in Marriage

Abandonment in marriage involves when one spouse intentionally abandons the other, either physically or emotionally, with the result that the bonds and vows that constitute marriage are severed. A spouse who would have left the home by stepping back and leaving his partner feeling alone and unattended can achieve this physically or emotionally.

While marriage is supposed to be a structure with built-in mutual care and responsibility, it upsets that delicate balance when such abandonment usually leaves the abandoned spouse with feelings of rejection, anxiety, and loneliness.

Characteristics of Abandonment in Marriage

Abandonment in marriage does not always come as straightforward as one would think; in many ways, couples know their relationship has reached that point. These common signs include:

Lack of communication

Having one spouse does not want to communicate or express feelings because it would create a gulf in that relationship. Physical absence. Abandoning spouse physically leaves the household and does not plan to return.

Withdrawal of support

The spouse stops supporting various aspects, which could be emotional, financial, or household matters and lets the other partner fend for themselves in those areas. The spouse is disengaged and no longer interested in improving the marriage.

Suggested read: 18 Exciting Couple Goals To Strengthen Your Relationship

Types of Abandonment in Marriage

Abandonment in marriage comes in several forms, each with unique emotional and legal ramifications. Here is a breakdown of the most common types:

1. Financial Abandonment

In this regard, a spouse cuts off the financial support so that one is left resourceless to meet daily needs and requirements or household expenses. This kind of abandonment can be devastating, especially if one partner is financially dependent on the other.

2. Criminal Abandonment

In some states, criminal abandonment of a spouse can occur in instances of a lack of sufficient care or financial support. This mainly happens when there are children, and the abandoning spouse violates his legal duties.

3. Constructive Abandonment

This would also include the situation where one spouse's conduct compels the other spouse to leave the marriage. Constructive abandonment would include when a spouse is absent emotionally or abuses or neglects to perform marital duties, like sexual relations with the spouse, which makes it impossible for the relationship to continue.

4. Marital/Emotional Abandonment

With emotional abandonment, one spouse has emotionally checked out of the relationship, leaving the other spouse feeling unloved and unsupported. Perhaps physically, a marriage partner does not connect on an emotional level and thus leaves their spouse in a state of intense loneliness.

Is Abandonment a Ground for Divorce?

In many jurisdictions, abandonment is considered a valid reason for divorce. It is usually classified as a "fault-based" divorce, in which one spouse can cite the other's abandonment as the reason for the dissolution of marriage.

In most cases, however, some conditions must be met for abandonment to be legally valid, including when the spouse leaves for a continuous period, as long as a year or more, without cause. Depending on local laws, emotional abandonment might not entirely qualify as sufficient ground for divorce, but it indeed could contribute to a large number of divorces.

How to Prove Abandonment in Court

Abandonment must be proved within marriage and evidenced, mainly if those are grounds on which you divorce. Here is what courts usually look for in such cases:

• Length of time: According to your state's laws, the spouse must have been gone for a year or more.
• Lack of consent: The remaining spouse must show he/she disagreed with the separation.
• No Cause: The spouse leaving must have abandoned the marriage without cause, such as safety or other extenuating circumstances.

Documentation of any incidents regarding abandonment—dates, times, and details—can help make any case in court more substantial.

Divorce Proceedings and Abandonment Claims

Abandonment claims can make a huge difference in how the case turns out if filed in divorce proceedings. If a state is a fault-based divorce, marriage abandonment might factor into issues of alimony, property division, and child custody.

In no-fault divorce states, however, abandonment may not matter that much legally. What is more important is the irretrievable breakdown of the marriage-that somebody did leave, and for whatever reason.

A similar read that you may find helpful: How To Prepare Divorced Parents Before the Wedding

What to Do If Your Husband Leaves You

If you are being abandoned both emotionally and legally in marriage, here are some proactive steps to take against abandonment to protect your welfare:

Legal Steps

Consult with a divorce lawyer to understand your rights and the legal implications of abandonment in your state.

Financial Support

If the issue is financial abandonment, then seek support through the courts for support or alimony. You will want to secure your finances by opening an account in your name and protecting joint assets.

Support on an Emotional Level

Abandonment is an overwhelming obstacle to overcome. First, lean on friends, family, or a therapist to cope with feelings of rejection and isolation.

Document Everything

Make a record of your spouse abandoning you. This includes the dates on which he/she left, never called or communicated after leaving, or any attempts at reconciliation that were made.

Recommended read: Expert Tips on Dealing with Difficult In Laws

How Long Must a Spouse Be Gone to Prove Abandonment?

In most states, a spouse must have been gone for one year for there to be valid grounds for abandonment. This time may change depending on the jurisdiction an individual lives in, which is why it is important to take a closer look at the laws where you reside.

Consequences of Filing Abandonment during Divorce

Throughout your divorce proceedings, claiming abandonment may have an impact on many elements involved in the given situation, such as:

Alimony

If the issue of abandonment is proven, then the abandoned spouse has a better chance of receiving higher alimony due to the separating financial and emotional burdens.

Equitable Distribution of Property

The courts might be less harsh on the abandoned spouse when the properties are divided, especially if the other spouse has ceased contributing financially.

Child Custody

In case one of the spouses has abandoned the family, it may be hard for them to seek custody or visitation rights as they have shown no responsibility.

What are Your Rights if You Are Being Accused of Abandoning Your Marriage?

If the spouse claims you deserted the marriage, then it is critical to have legal protection. You will need to prove that you separated on mutual consent or due to sufficient grounds like abuse or safety issues. An excellent legal defense could save you from an unfair judgment placed against you in court during the divorce.

Do You Need a Divorce Lawyer? 

In a scenario of abandonment in marriage, one needs to approach the best divorce lawyer. Attorneys here will help you know your rights, file a divorce, and protect your assets.

• Know your rights: This helps you understand legally what your rights and options are because of abandonment;
• File a divorce: Help you prepare the legal paper to file for divorce, claiming abandonment;
• Guard your assets: Keep your finances safe and ensure a fair property division.

Conclusion

Marriage abandonment is one of the most painful experiences. It does not have to dictate your life. Understanding the kinds of abandonment, knowing one's legal rights to protection, and emotionally and financially taking care of oneself will help reconstruct life. Whether you take legal action or work on healing, remember that you deserve a healthy, full-of-life relationship—one oozing with mutual love, respect, and commitment. While abandonment can be heartbreaking, you can find support and resources that empower you to move on and make your future brighter.

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